Getting There...Well done, IGNYTE!

The young IGNYTE boys beat the Adult team 3-2 today. It was a good game which i would say, the young ones played with so much zeal and desire within them. I played the 1st half with the adults, and was 1-0 down due to a goalie's mistake. Nevertheless, i thought we attacked more, but if you don't make chances count, it's simply no use lamenting about it. I went over to IGNYTE and marshaled the defence. I need tougher opponents to get my form back. I lost it after our 3rd AGAPE match, and i almost don't know why though! Fumbled the first few touches, and i got myself back slowly. My reading and accuracy of clearance left me during the last 2 matches. I just felt lethargic and restless. Sigh! Almost 2 more weeks before our next AGAPE match, i gotta get myself back!



As i slowly get myself back on track, i was almost back to old self. Throwing my body all over the place, although i conceded a penalty with a handball, it was an equalizer though. As cool as usual, i am not gotta ponder about any mistakes and carried on my game. Slowly, i felt that i was coming back to the old Eric Gwee! Just a few more matches to fine tune myself should be enough. Let's wait and see! Within minutes, we were in front with 2 goals, and we were 3-1 up. Real spectacular and amazing! Within relentless effort, the adults came right at us, and managed to nick one back through a corner. Nerving moments followed, i kept my concentration and defended with every inch of body. The young ones were doing a tremendous job, and were so different from the way we played them during the 1st time. I really give it to them man! Finally, the final whistle was blown and it was a great game!



With that kind of zeal and determination, the young ones showed that sizes doesn't matter! In my prayers, i do hope that these kids will be able to play together for the longest time if they can. The way of how they approached the game and won it, i wish that it will be the same in their spiritual walk with God too. Never give up till the final whistle! Anyway, it was another tiring day for me. It may seen another sunday, but guessed i learned something from the youths today. It's somehow served as a reminder to me, it is to be humble and be a child again.



"Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation..." (1Peter2:2)



I believe that human always fall into complacency in life every often, likewise for me and it may seen like a verse which have been overlooked most of the time. Being an adult, it's ok to humble ourselves to able to admit mistakes we made. Humility takes huge courage and it helps us to grow more mature. So, being able to be a child again and humble ourselves does make us grow and and it's an act of grace as well.

Leaders' Summit Day 1

Still feeling the burden as i went on my way for Leaders' Summit. I started praying hard in my heart, as i met Melvin Cho at Causeway Point. It's definitely not the right time to feel this way, i want to enagage in the right spirit, i told Him. No matter what, the show must go on man, Eric!

We reached church and headed to ECP for our morning activities. Although we had some "complicated" rugby game, believed we had fun though. Haha! By the time we reached NACLI, its around 1430H. We began worship at 1500H...and that’s where everything began...

We started worshipping and i started asking God a lot of things. First is to ask Him to take away those burdens, so that i can just worship Him in awe. Secondly, what is His plans for me in this ministry, since He had called me into this, as i haven't felt right emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Those disppointments, failures, hurts and burdens have kinda taken a toll on me, and i know if this continues, i am going to go back to my past again. How many times am i going to fall, my Lord? Lastly, when will problems back home end? For a moment, i was able to sing praises without thinking of other stuff, i was getting to feel more of God. So many things i wanted to go bended knees, but was held back...Probably was because of pride, pain on knees and some other reasons. This time round, i just went down without thinking, i was desperate and needed a touch from Jesus, and wanna see things the way He sees.

Somehow, i began to see things and heard He speaking to me. That's what He told me....

1) It's just the beginning of your ministry, Eric! This is what I want you to do....
- Put every past disappointments, failures and hurts behind!
- Everything which you had fail to honor and fulfil before today (30 May'07), put them all behind!

2) This is going to be your ministry for years to come! Why and How?
- You are going to be spiritually renewed and regenerated in every area and aspects of your life!
- You are going to do great things like never before, and I will speak to you!
- You are going to be my testimony of UPs and DOWNs in life, "Fallen Warrior" and source of encouragement and motivation to others...

3) Family Situation and Struggles...
- When have i forgotten you, Eric?
- What about those favors you get from your superiors?
- Those "extra" jobs which came along your way?
Aren't those the blessings which come along? Therefore, be patient and wait for my call and timing, my child...Let's wait and see...There will be victories after victories, and you will see visions too, Eric!

The presence of God was so strong that i started tearing a bit, situation which happened once a while. I know it's Him speaking directly to me and He left me with this verse...

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
(Joshua 1:9)

All these happened on the Day 1 of the summit, and what was to come the next day was more affirming..Whatever was spoken above, i claimed it as a victory! Everything will be coming to past...Thank You, my Lord....

At The Desperation Point....

Things have not been great till the next morning. Dad woke up around the same time as me, before i went forth for the Leaders' Summit. He came up to me, and asked if there are really other alternatives. The sense of burden came upon me again, holding on to my glass of milk and my nutrition bar, i tried to come out of a solution. I left with a couple of dollars in my account, and there is nothing i can do much. I called him to get some amount from mum to settle first, and he was reluctant to do so, because mum always give him the "black face", and he will go crazy after all. Quite evidentantly, the communication and understanding between them have been broken and still not been mended.

I asked him this question, "Do you believe in Jesus?" and he said "Ya!". I said the attitude is not there, if he does....Not only should he just merely read the bible, but he needs to understand HIM, and pray upon HIS name. My parents have been "entertaining" me since one crisis happened couple of months back. Things were still manageable for a while until it deteriote again. After all, that is all about human though!

4 and 1/2 years ago, i depended on gambling and tossed around with luck, hoping to meet my financial needs. I got away with it most of the times though, not until i chose to honour, because people told me He could provide. Nevermind then, i will try and see how it goes...Holding to His promise, i endured and resisted every opportunities to have my hands on it. 6 months later, i got spotted on the street, and did my 1st modelling advert, and i never looked back. 12 assignments in 1st year is no "luck", it's blessing! Still remembering how i tided over those adversaries that year, when dad needed all those extra $$, which really took the toll on me. I shared with him this testimony, and called him to pray and believe at the same time! That's my solution for him, and i can't help him much, because things are beyond my abilities already, like those job interviews and applications. At that point of time, i prayed and asked and was given.

"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. (Luke 11:9)

Although, it's just a simple and common verse, but most of the time we overlook the simplicity, and also being complacent about the needs in life. What God wants is just a simple faith, and nothing else. In most situations, unless we are experiencing a crisis, if not it's almost impossible to turn back and ask ourselves if we need God. Therefore, i asked dad, how much does he believe and do say a prayer in the name of Jesus before he goes for any job interview. I believe things will be different if we choose to simply believe and trust in Him.

Although, whatever i said may sound a bit cliche to some of you here. Personally, i experienced the few breakthroughs in life and i believe it can happen to anyone, if he/she choose to believe. Not that you are poor in terms of finance, but the perspectives and direction of your life. It won't take you long to say a simple prayer with the name Jesus in it, and it's nothing creepy about it. Just a simple open-minded heart will do. I started in desperation 5 years ago, and i have seen His promises.

"If you are helpless in life fray, His mighty power will be your stay; Your failing strength He can renew, For He's a God who cares for you...."

It's trying time ahead...

Nothing much for the day though..Came back home from work, and saw dad sitting at one corner. He had been jobless since CNY, and had gone for countless of interviews, but to no avail yet. Electrical bills are mounting and he told me that the authorities may gotta cut the electricity off in a couple of days time. In fact, he had just stopped the men from cutting it, before i reached home. For a moment, the creeping of disppointment, worries and other mixtures of emotions appeared in my heart and mind. I was left with $7.95 after paying a couple of bills and expenses, after checking my balance. I am trying hard not to touch my wedding savings, but i guess i may not have a choice though.

Instead of choking up of those mix emotions, i tried to take a quick shower and a quick nap before heading off to gym and image training. But things kept resonating in my mind, and once again all the negativities came upon my heart, and i felt so down and out again. So, i said a short prayers of peace and that my dad will get a job soon. I told myself that its one of those moments again, those moments of attacks upon my life, which i gotta battle out. So many times, i was disappointed with my parents for "entertaining' me, in which they told me that they will go know about God. They never did though, and they chose to believe in themselves instead. Personally, i experienced the goodness of His love and provision at the time of need. So, i don't see why He won't do it, if they are to come and know Him personally.

Well, God told me that they are human after all. Just like in the old testament, how the Israelites chose not to believe even after they were shown the miracles by Him. I am trying to be patient for the right timing though, and i wondered when it will be, even as i know that His timing is always perfect. "When is it the right time, my Lord?"

6 Hear my prayer, O LORD; listen to my cry for mercy.
7 In the day of my trouble I will call to you, for you will answer me.
8 Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord; no deeds can compare with yours.

(Psalms 86:6-8)

It is trying times ahead once again...i am trusting and trusting, not going to give up the life i am leading now and my future is His hand, unless i take it out from Him. Hold on, Eric! You have been there and done that! It's nothing new...Remember...Passion and Dreamzz...His Destiny!

Its time.....

Well, i never expected the advert to come out so unexpectedly on OCBC though! My goodness...it seem like the whole world knows except me. I was kinda shocked and surprised, and i was expecting a tea session before the RSM brief. Yup! He got me there.."Eric! Later, come to my office, i need to speak to you." "Ok! No problem, Sir! " a reply from an obedient soldier.


My heart was actually nervous initially. I was thinking how to explain myself for this situation again. Then, somehow i thought.."What's up, man?" Isn't that what you want, Eric Gwee! Clear the air asap, and get carried on in life. You wanna continue to build up your 2nd career here, hello! So, what's so nervous about that? Go up there and speak your heart out! He is WO Tay, one of your favourite and probably one of the best warrant officers you can trust around. Somemore, he knows me personally since i got posted to the training school in 1999.


WO Tay, he was my SI around 7 yrs back when i was in training school. He is a soft-spoken person, but whatever he says contain substance which always makes me feel motivated. He is wise in his words and is always patient to hear people out. In fact, he just live around my area. I sent him off when he was posted to China for 3 years, and he rised thru the ranks and became my RSM now. Something which i glad to hear that then. Last year, out of concern, he spoke to me about my modelling stuff, and warned me of those people who maybe out to sabotage me thru the authority. Well, i stopped doing it and started thinking hard about my future for the next half year.

Finally, i came to a conclusion. I had decided to be an Image Consultant after i ORD in few years time. Why? Probably can share with you all in my oncoming blog though! So, inside his office, i shared with him what i wanted to do, and i dont have the intention of staying in service. My OC was called in as well then. I do have all the criteria for the 2nd contract, but i asked myself if this is my desired job, and something which i want to do for the rest of my life? I signed on purely because of family commitment, and i had sold 12 years of my life to the force. Think it almost time to think of what i actually want in life, to really create something out of my life. After plying my trade in modelling, i saw a vast difference in the outside world, its more dynamic and challenging. I realized that i actually love challenges and the type of "adventure-seeking" kind of person. Being an Image Consultant, i need those profiling, credibilities and credentials to ply myself in this trade. Able to model and act add more muscles into my profession profile and these are things which i am keen in doing as well. So, i am cool with not being paid to act or model for the sake of experience and profile. After hearing what i had shared, they had decided to help me thru this period of time. Thank God for wonderful superiors....Really...

In life, we live once and not twice. Do go according to your passion, and don't get stuck in situations. If you know some sticky situations are bound to happen, avoid doing things which may lead to them. I thought hard of what i want to do next, have you? Don't let the negativities of this world to hold you back, be bold and courageous! To me, i am stepping out of the comfort zone, and risked myself in the outside world. Well, it is now or never....In God i trust.....

When you had a bad day, you've taken one down!

Tiring!! We won the match at a score at 3-1. I did not perform up to my expectations though! But comparing to the match last week, i think there was an improvement. I was injured at that point of time, and thought i am ok for this week match. I was not my usual self since we won the last AGAPE match. Maybe its only the competition mood and atomsphere which i am craving for, or perhaps its the loss of form. At least for the moment , i somehow get to understand those EPL players' loss of form. How we see Rooney and Henry lost his touch at goal and talented defenders like Ferdinand suffered criticism from his sub-standard performances at one point of time. Just like every player have their day and i had mine too. I was a bit disppointed but now really that bad because the thought of going back to church for ministry later, revitalized the mood within me! That's when everything started....


So tired as i was, when i woke up after 2 hours of rest. As usual, i got everything ready for church. My timing will be just nice for the briefing at 1615H. Sigh! My bus went away when i got downstairs, then i gotta walked out to the mrt station. I was perspiring and panting when i reached there lor! Nevermind...the train "arrived" and left!! Araghh!! I am still cool though...not until my "chiong" Adidas bag from KL snapped on me! That's it! I am late! I am going to be late for the briefing, because i am going to get myself a new bag! Haiz...Where should i get my bag? I decided to dropby AMK hub and look around. It was 1555H, and there was no way i am going for the brief. Without much ado and hesitation, i searched high and low for a decent looking bag, but all are for ladies!! OMG! Until...i chanced upon a Lecoq Sportif white bag, one which i have been looking at sometime, but don't bear to buy it. Not wasting anymore time, i paid without asking the price. I ended up paying $69.90 for it! NO!!! I am drying in my pocket...and i still gotta return Kelvin 15 bucks later...Sigh! Nevermind...i will swallow it! It's just my day and i am trying not to complain so much. That's no other bags, my goodness! So, to any normal person like me, it must not have been a good day after all. A sudden loss of form on the pitch, missed this and that, a bag snapped on you out from nowhere and burned a big hole in your pocket.


Nevertheless, i still reached church in one piece. Praise God! Brushing every ill-feelings aside, and start to regenerate myself into the right setting and attitude. God is going to minister to me and those folks out there! I did not know that it was movie screening, and it was Narnia! It was a great time of ministry out there. Share more with you all later. Right now, it's time for another movie with my brother, Derick. See ya, folks! :)

1st Time....Blogging?? Oh..Cmon!

Nothing much to brag about though....I have always thought that blogging is like a waste of time, having nothing to do and just write and write only. Not until one day, i was doing some journaling with my bible....Eh! Isn't that blogging in my own book? Sound funny huh?!

Well, after reading a few blogs and asked myself..."Why not try out, you dude!" It's the "in" thing now, my goodness!Okok! Since i got nothing to do, why not penning my thoughts,experiences,frustrations etc....and maybe someone can be blessed...Well, i don't know! Lets see then!


I was back home at around 10plus before going for the show, Pirates Of The Carribean. Will create some rating after watching it. Anyway, i do like the show and Jiahao happened to get those tickets, so...Why not?! I was deadbeat after the extended working hours till this morning and afternoon shift. Yawn! But nothing is gotta stop me from watching the show, and the match tomorrow morning, though its going be tiring, but nothing beats things which one enjoys. Movies and soccer are one of the best things that i can do it thru and thru. Haa!

Its almost 3am in the morning now, its time to get going to bed though.Hopefully i can hit my form for the match later, thats always a small problem on the pitch for not getting enough rest. Soccer have always been my source of strength and motivation before i know the Maker. I saw it as how describe life in particular though. So, lets talk a bit about soccer right now!

As the goalkeeper, you must keep the goal from being scored. If not, its like your goal being dashed into pieces, and you have to pick the ball out from the net. Defender, needless to say, you must defend the goal, we must defend the goal which we had set in life! Why let others dash your dreams and goals into pieces, and then fall like a loser? What about midfider? Create those goals, of course...In life, we must create goals to look forward to. Therefore, dont perish into the wilderness of this world, friends! Stikers are to get those goals! Create those goals and score them!

Life on this world is not very long, so make it like a game of soccer. Be the goalkeeper and keep those goals you had set, even if you have to pick out the balls out from the net again and again. Don't be dismayed, because whatever had been dashed, we still gotta pick up those pieces and start all over again. Be the midfielder and start creating those dreams again, and be confident that it will be scored! What about being the defender? In life, we will face countless of challenges, standing against mockeries, slanders and temptations. Its like how defenders being attacked at the goalmouth, we gotta defend those goals and dreams. After describing how keeping, defending and creating those goals like those players on the pitch, the most glamourous moment of all is the scoring of the goal. As we all know, the striker always get the most limelight. Therefore, even if you know about the art of keeping, defending and creating, don't just stand by it. Do know about scoring it, my friend! Whatever have a beginning, must have an end to it.

Ok...time's up! I'm going to defend my goal now. By the way, forgot to tell you that i play as the defender of the team. So what i am defender, i did create and score a couple of goals before. Haha! Therefore, you may wanna ask yourself, "What i want in life?" and "What's the next step now?"....then starts creating it, keep it, and defend it....don't know forget to score yeah?!