Nothing struck bitter than a tragedy...

Well, things going on in the contest was fun and exciting, enjoyed making new friends and knowing them. Things were great until an incident happened actually...

To put things simple..There was a miscommunication between a share broker and me, which resulted a loss of 8K plus of my savings. I have always been a person who is always bounded with financial issues, ever since the day i signed on in the SAF. Supporting the family and pulling everything together, and i hardly have any chance to truly enjoy the fruit of my hard labour per se. Finally, the day i came out of SAF with a sum of savings, thinking that i could use that to generate some income, and to survive the world out there, things happened. Everything was fine until then..It was so big a struggle that i was thinking if coming of SAF was the right choice. WTH! I started to doubt the calling, and especially i was taking part in a contest on TV.

Slowly, the rest of the days in the contest, i struggled to keep myself 'alive'. The whole incident affected me emotionally and mentally, and i just can't concentrate on each segment. Fashion sense was up next, and i remembered that i didn't really think much of what to dress my 'model' up. I went into a shop and saw a nice full set of outfit on a mannequin, i told the sale assistant that i wanted the whole set to don on my 'model'. Well, i thought he looked ok after all, but not to the judges' point of view..I didn't really fare well for this round, but i wasn't really bothered with it. If i am not in for the semis, so be it..

Christmas and New Year were round the corner, and i wasn't at the best mood of all. When came to Thanksgiving dinner, i was like...don't ask me questions man! I was struggling to thank God for about something. Gosh! I thought i will get it thru somehow, but it was not easy. Bills pilling up and questions started coming in..Next i knew, it's 2010! Elimination round came, and somehow i was through to the semis, which i think was because i scored quite high for the Guts challenge..Nonetheless, the worse was yet to come as the challenges of the contest came...thought i should be quite braced up for the challenges ahead, but i was wrong...

Creepy Crawlers...Eeeww..

Part 2 of the challenge was actually to catch some lizards..We were brought into some WWII tunnel in Woodlands, and i didn't even knew that place despite staying there for a good 11 years. It was at some jungle, and we gotta bash through some bushes and reach the place. It was kinda eerie down there, and James was the 1st one! The rest of us were waiting in the van, and it was long half an hour before it was my turn.

My turn up next..Michelle Chong asked me a couple of questions before i headed down the tunnel. The same few questions that were posed to me by the producers too. Are you afraid of lizards? What are you afraid of? Well...i said that i don't really think that i am afraid of them, but rather i will feel more disgusting. This brought into some thinking point..Somehow a question i can't really answer. The producers were kinda 'annoyed' in a certain sense that they cant find out anything that i am fearful of. Not to be boastful or arrogant, but sincerely and frankly speaking..I really don't know unless situation arises. Even if i happen to see a 'Casper' or funny creatures, i will just brush it off and stuff. I guessed thats probably my character which was built in me since the younger days, having to go through hardships in life.I trained myself to the point of conquering my own fears, and i did so without lidding an eyelid. I know a lot of people definitely have something that they are fearful of, and its not easy to conquer that sort of fear. For my case, i won't know until situation arises, and if i really have to say something...I will have to say, the death of my loved ones..Personally,I think there is nothing more fearful than your loved ones gotta go before you..Frankly speaking, that fears me the most out of anything..Therefore, what's your fear today? Is it good to have something to fear for, or nothing to be fearful of? What are your views? I leave it to you to ponder about...

Anyway, back to what i was talking about before the debate. The tunnel was eerie and was filled with Gzekos (lizards which are 2 times bigger than your household lizards), their eggs were everywhere. On the top of the wall, at the side of the wall, everywhere! It was indeed disgusting, my goodness. I was called to pose with the lizards and the eggs, not knowing if any of them will drop on my head, somehow none of them did. I carried on commenting on my exploration of the tunnel, and i was called to hit 1 down for my next task. Next, i found my photo, and i gotta sign on it. The last challenge was to put on a pair of surgical gloves, and catch one gzeko and put it in the ziplock bag. I put on the gloves, and looked for one convenient stop, and next the gzeko was in the ziplock bag. The producer and the crew were stunned, because everything happened within split seconds.They were like, "HUH?! You caught it already??" The camera didn't even have time to pan to what i was doing..Okzz...Next i was called to take off the gloves, and catch another one alive. Being that task-oriented as i am, i promptly took off the gloves, and the same way as before, without a second glance, i caught it without a blink of my eyes, and it was in my hands. I started to pose with it, and i thought the lizard was almost dying out of breath in my hands already..Haha! They commented me that i did it like some kung-fu master like that..Haha! Think i am too task-oriented already, thats why i just did it without thinking twice about it. Is it a good or bad thing??

Up next, we were brought to QIAN HU fish farm. To cut things short, we were supposed to find items in a huge tank filled with meal worms. Disgusting huh? 10 ice cream sticks labelled from 0-9, and the hosts will give us any 4 numbers, and we gotta find it within the shortest time. 2nd challenge was, we will need to find 3 coins within the shortest time too. Drama Mama Kiwi took the longest time, and ended did not even touch the worms at all. Leon somehow freaked, and was broken into tears of disappointment, i comforted him along the way. What happened? I was wondering, because he was doing fine back inside the tunnel. Eventually, i emerged as the fastest finder within 58 secs for both challenges. Each stick i took happened to be the correct number, and i found the 3 coins within 22 secs. The hosts were shocked and they were saying that God was with me. I believed it so...Praise God! But still...i don't think there was something to be proud about despite clinching the winner for this round.

Brian called me up the next day, and we chatted and he was stunned to find out that fella who did under 1 min was me. The fastest guy after me was him, and he had to do it within 2min plus. I told him that God was with me, bro! Haha! Best of buddies as the time goes... ;)

What's so Gutsy about it?

Yup...Next up was basically about GUTs..How daring you are...For this round, i happened to be grouped with Benjamin, James, Kiwi and Leon. Early in the morning..We were dressed up quite casually with a pair of berms and shirt, and were escorted into a room. Before that, we were anticipating of having to eat or touch some gross stuff like in Fear Factor. Well, much to our surprise, we saw 1 guy and 1 gal dancing with some long red cloth in the room. We were like...HUH?? What's so scary about that? Ah huh! We were instructed to learn the dance from them! So...they were our 老師! Yes! We are gotta learn to dance 彩帶舞! Oh my goodness..I was asking myself??! I can't dance for nuts, for goodness sake! Hate dancing man! Haha! What does that gotta do with GUTS??! Ok fine..Whatever..

I was perspiring as i learned the swinging and coordinating of the whole dance. Freaking not easy man! Probably it was just me i guessed..Haha! I made the instructors vomited blood i guessed. Sorry Viv and Kenneth! But they were really patient and awesome, i must say..We became friends even now. Oh yes! Not to sidetrack, we had an hour or so kinda crash course, and then were called to change into our smart and formal outfit with tie.

Part 1 of the challenge was...Dancing 彩帶舞 in the public! We will be judged on our composure dancing in the public.We were supposed to dance at Raffles Place, but it was raining and we moved on to Orchard 313, which happened to be the 2nd day of opening. Goodness me..It was packed with people after people. We were seated at Addy's Moonsoon Salon while waiting for our turn to 'perform' in public. In our smart and formal outfit, we were handed a mini compo and a briefcase which contained our 彩帶. The instruction was that we gotta walk out from nowhere and settle ourselves in front of the concierge where there was the most people walking. Place the mini compo and briefcase down, play the music, take out the 彩帶 and dance for 3 mins, and we must end off with a shout out Hur!Hur!(Something like a 'garang' war cry)

The camera crew was hidden somewhere 'up there' where no one will notice, so it won't seen like some sorta shooting.

Ok..James was the 1st one, and i don't really know how he fared because no contestants was allowed to watch one another. My turn up next, and as calmly as i could, with the mini compo on my left and briefcase on my right, off i went! Placed both down, and played the mini compo. Wow! It was really really loud man! You can't miss it definitely if you are around. Took out my 彩帶 and started dancing away. I had no idea what i was dancing and i just 'anyhow' invented my own dance and smiling my way through the whole ordeal. The 3 mins were like forever, and i was panting and perspiring and i started smiling awkwardly, and i believed was all captured on camera..I was filling with thoughts and was thinking isn't that humiliating and making a fool out of us? Sigh...A fruit of thought for the day?? But i did heard of feedback and comment on that after it was aired. Finally, i was signaled to stop, i packed up my stuff and let out a big shout of Hur! Hur! which i believed at least 3-4 floors of people heard that. Haha! Followed on

was Kiwi and Leon, they weren't really in a good mood though. I thought Ben was hilarious, he started out his war cry as and when he like while dancing. He scared the heck out of a malay auntie who walked past him, and i was laughing my head off that man! Goodness..

At the end of the day, i think i did well for this segment despite fumbling my dance but i managed to stay calm and smile..at least thats according to the judges. Well...next part of the challenge is gotta be more interesting! Creepy stuff...Till then again... ;)

The Physical 'Challenges' Ahead...

The challenges which i meant was basically the challenges which lie ahead of the program, U RE THE MAN. We started off with Physical Endurance at Sentosa! Nice sunny weather for a good tan i would say for that day..Not knowing what we gotta do, we reached a place called Wave House. That's something new to me, and we found out that it was a place for wake-boarding enthusiasts who yearn to have slices of wake-boarding experiences. The producers knew that none of us have prior experience in wake-boarding, and posed us with the 1st challenge.

So the 1st challenge was...Balancing! The aim was to balance ourselves as long as we can on the wakeboard. We were given approximately 1 hour of crash course by the instructors. I would have to say it was quite demoralizing as i kept falling! Haha! Well, all in the name of fun and i did enjoyed that experience. Leon was the best at it, he got the 'tune' quite steadily i would say. After every segment of the coaching and training, the real thing was coming up. I wasn't confident, and i was praying that i would not end up as the last one, and at least let me stay for a few couple of seconds, because i didn't managed to stay even for 1 sec! Oh my goodness! It was my turn and i was giving all sorts of funny expressions and stuff, and i thought it was hilarious! I managed 6 secs by God's grace and wasn't the last fella. Needless to say, the best timing belonged to Leon, 27 secs for him. Good job!

Stage 2 of Physical Endurance, we went to Snow City @ Jurong. The aim was to endure the coldness under the temperature of -10 degree celsius. The hosts were clothed with winter outfit while the 10 of us were only put in windbreakers. Shivering cold i guessed. Things that we need to do...Part 1 was to eat ice kacang, then sing a song or a 'cold' joke with the fan blowing into our face. Part 2 was to blow as many balloons with the snow flakes falling on you..Part 3 was to do bare-footed skipping!Oh my goodness...Frankly speaking, i wasn't quite affected by the whole cold stuff, and went about doing my job. I was emerged as the winner for this part of the segment, having to blow the most balloons and not giving up in any of the challenges that were posed to us. I am a person who possessed quite a high tolerance for coldness, but melts easily in the heat..Haha! Nevertheless, everyone of us suffered frost-bite on our toes, and complained for 2 weeks. Heck of an experience!

Part 3 and we were back to Sentosa...We gotta climb and run thru high obstacles course..the hosts kept emphasizing the fact that i am the oldest among all. Well, thats for entertainment value i guessed..Well, being oldest is not a burden in terms of fitness challenges like this. Haha! At least, i emerged the fastest in my group though not the fastest among the 10 of us. In fact, i thought i should have done better if not for 1 part which i got stuck. Well, as a fitness instructor's point of view, it's not the best way to gauge one's fitness endurance. Nonetheless, the obstacle course was really interesting, reminded me of army days and i thoroughly enjoyed that.

End of Challenge No.1 and next we moved on the Challenge No.2...Oh ya! Challenge 1 winner was Dennis. He was the fastest in clearing the obstacle. His timing at 3min ++ was sickening. Had no idea how he did it, but advantage for him was he's lightweight. We started calling him 'Lau Gau' (monkey in hokkien). Haha!

U RE THE MAN Part 1

Yup! I got into the whole thing of U RE THE MAN. Initially, I was kinda hesitant in joining the contest, but on the other hand someone told me that it should be a good experience and exposure since i am into this line. Who knows that more opportunities may come along my way, they said. Probably, they were right and i did think and pray about it, and Ok! Fine! Just do it! So, i was called in for a briefing on one of the nights @ Mediacorp.

It was a time that all contestants, producers and hosts get to meet up and get to meet with one another. The 4 hosts are Michelle Chia, Michelle Chong, Vivian Lai and Yuan Shuai. Michelle Chia does look gorgeous in person, and still remembered that she came in late after a shoot with another contestant, Kiwi, as they acted in Polo Boys together. Producer Glen was the facilitator for the night, and everyone introduced themselves to one another. The usual stuff, Name and Job etc..Hosts, of course out of courtesy and formality introduced themselves too, despite knowing who they are.

Lets see who were there...There were Brian, Benjamin, Dennis, Kerson, Kiwi, Desmond, James, Gusti, and Eric! If you were to ask me, what was my 1st impression of my fellow contestants..I don't really have much to say, because i always try not to fall into the category of being that judgmental. Came to think about it, i still remembered that Desmond looked familiar, kinda seen him somewhere before. Kiwi talked like an Ah Beng. Dennis looked old with that beard on, but was a year younger than me. Brian looked like he came from Hongkong, and indeed i found out that he did lived there for a while. James was your typical cutie boy next door. And Gusti showed his muscles with his pair of singlet on the 1st day of meeting. Sad but true, i was the eldest in there...Haha!

Whatever it was...Think i am getting to know more about myself of being a person who cant be bothered with what people said. Is it a good thing or bad thing? Well, i believe that it should be evaluated in a different context. Good for me is simply because i wont be easily affected emotionally and mentally. Furthermore, i was brought up in this way, and grew to be more nonchalant of what people may said and think about me. Bad is that we may tend to become more self-centered and disregard people feelings sometimes, and not yearning to change for the better. What you think then? Perhaps some may think the same way, but i believe everyone have their different point of view too.

Before moving on to the various challenges ahead, think i shall end here before anyone or myself fall asleep with such long entry. Well, my aim here is to keep on blogging and not stopping for that long. Cultivate a certain discipline, you know?? ;)

Moving On Part 2..

Yup...Channel U : U RE THE MAN! What a name for that man!My goodness...It all started the day i joined Upfront Models, and they had a Thanksgiving party @ Oosh. Well, its a time when models get up close and personal with producers and directors, and they exchanged contacts for future job opportunities. The whole thing was good but cliche in certain ways, probably i was considered some new chap in this line, still trying to learn the way of PR-ing in this line. Not my cup of tea for sure...

Reached there around 8.30pm, although the whole thing started at 7.30pm. Holding on to my portfolio, i signed in and said Hi to Ewan and Bernard (my bookers). Felt so strange and disoriented, because i knew no one. Not knowing how to get started, i started off with the most typical Sporean way of dealing situations in a party. I took my fair share of the delicious food, and moved to one of the tables, and started digging in. Think God was kind to me not to make me feel that lonely..I actually found someone i knew on the football pitch, and we were in the same team. He happened to be a producer and we started chatting away while munching on our food. All that happened for almost 45mins before Bernard came up to me with a guy.

He introduced himself as Glen from Mediacorp. We stared chatting and i came to know that he is a senior producer with Channel U, and they were going to do a reality program which later titled as U RE THE MAN. 10 men competing with one another in challenges such as Physical Endurance, Guts, Fashion Sense etc..So, he was actually talent scouting dudes for this show, and we exchanged contacts. He would not want an open audition, so there wasn't any publicity of the show. Everything was supposed to be in house scouting and audition. After that, he said he will get someone to contact me in a few days time.

Indeed, a phone call came and i was called upon for an interview. Next i knew a few days later, i was in this reality show. The commitment is approximately 4 months, starting from November. Wow! This began as another brand new journey in my life. The whole thing about showbiz, the people that i know..and of course the UPs and the DOWNs...I will end here with that..till we go deeper again.. ;)

Whats Next...

Continuing form part 1, left me thinking about the crazy decision i made though...10 years of stability in SAF, and i gave up on that for one of the most controversial , insecure and unstable job of all in the media/entertainment industry. Well, not that something that i always dreamt of doing since young, but more of challenging myself to the next stage of my life. Looking things around, Derick and Patrick have gotten themselves a job and eased those burdens off my shoulders, Dad and Mum also working. It's time to move on, and knowing myself is not a person of great faith, this is one big step i am challenging myself to believe in.

I remembered walking out of Nee Soon Camp for the last time, and its kinda cliche to think that, it looked like 'walking out of prison' and you shouldn't turn back to take the last look of it. Nevertheless, i held no grudges against the organization but gratitude towards those who seen me through the years, despite complains and lamentations at times. (We are human after all, right?) I walked through the BTS canteen and memories flew through my mind, why such memories? Ironically speaking, i was enlisted 14 Feb 1999 into NSC, and I ORDed 1 May 2009 out of NSC. Memories of times that i used to run about at the parade square, the bunk which i used to stay in, the place where i heard about 'Casper', the canteen where i used to eat, the field i used to kena tekan by PTIs. (See the tree over??) All these bore the best memories because i think Recruit days are the most hilarious and naive time i ever had. Great buddies and instructors (although not many may testify to that..) Whatever it is, i believe everyone have their own Army stories to tell, and i shall leave that to myself...

Of course, there is a price to pay after deciding not to fully fulfill the contract. Contract was 12 years, but i left at 10th years. Despite just a mere 2 years difference, the price was 10k plus not including of CPF. I always have the $$ struggles, and i was quite prepared to give it up but not easy..With that amount paid up, its a brand new start of life. Thank God that i received enough jobs and somehow i broke even within 2-3 months. Each day i lived by faith and not knowing what would happen next..i maybe have 2-3 jobs a month, and nothing at all for the next 2 months. My life is really like shares market, emotional turmoil running up and down..Family, career, relationship etc took a toll on me at times, as questions after questions kept pouring onto me, and being as human as i am, questions kept ringing in my mind. Next i knew was at another stage of mental development of my life, despite thinking that i should be well-prepared after going through those tough times earlier with the family.

Nonetheless, i met awesome people along the way and they became the channel of blessings in my life. They became friends whom i believe i can trust and rely on in the days to come. These are angels whom i believe that God had sent, despite of different beliefs and values. Somewhere around in Nov, i got a connection and joined Upfront Models, and a new journey beings again....

Been Sometime...

Goodness me..i just realized that my last post was approximately 3+ yrs back..Thats the problem with me when i was contemplating whether to start a blog.I simply lack the discipline to maintain it.So, 2010's resolution is to revive this blog again. Its the 2nd month of 2010 now..wondering where should i start from..

Lets start from May 2009 i supposed..The month which i left SAF after serving 10 years in it. There are so much to talk about, really..Do i have fond memories of it? Will i miss those days?What are you gotta do? You sure? People had been asking me questions after questions. Normally, after telling them what i gotta do..They were like..HUH? Sure or not? Thats quite a 360 degree change of job and environment.

In 2007, i have been praying and asking myself if thats what i really want to do..1st thing came to my mind was the monotonous life in SAF. After serving for a numbers of years, i learned more about myself, as being a more adventurous and risk-taking person. I felt so stagnant and not feeling a sense of personal growth within myself. The world is bigger than anyone would have thought of, and i just cant see myself staying in SAF for the rest of my life . Moreover, i saw my 2 younger brothers having their respective jobs, and i knew that my responsibilities were almost done. No studies and textbooks, and sometimes pocket money. Although, the housing loan was still a big issue, but i seriously need to think about my future. I don't want to live a life full of regrets and not seeing the world out there. The restrictions in force wasn't doing me any good too, frustrations grew over the time, and came to a point that i thought it's time. 10th year will probably be a good year as i pondered for quite a while. Its always difficult to get yourself moving the 1st step but eventually i did. Drafting an Early Release letter was a headache and i still remembered, typing and deleting and still wondering if i should leave. After all, my career had been crafted nicely and steadily, everything had been taken care of, my CPF and stuff..Sigh! Eventually...i still came out with the letter and made an appointment with CO, and we chatted about it. Verdict was he agreed to that, and we settled a date and that's it! I am leaving SAF, my one and only full time job for the last 10 years. What's next??

Think its time to sleep soon..should leave it as Part 1 to be continued..Gotta stay fresh for a long day of recording with Channel U. Dancing??!! Goodness gracious me..How i got into this Channel U thingy? Still a long way before i come to that..For now..just be it.. Nitezz!